


Malgré mes accords malhabiles

by feverbeats



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 15:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8107441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverbeats/pseuds/feverbeats
Summary: "I'm not your friend," he says, pulling back to look Gilbert in the face.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Are drabbles still a thing? Here are some drabbles.
> 
> Title from "Tu Trouveras" by Natasha St-Pier.

1.

Aaron doesn't believe in getting drunk and shouting in public, but everyone he knows makes a habit of it. He would try to distance himself from it, except--

They're tangled in bed together in the room where Lafayette is staying. Even in the dark, Lafayette's smile is incandescent.

It began as a drunken mistake, but Aaron doesn't repeat mistakes, at least not on purpose. They disagree on everything. Why hasn't it stopped them?

"So tense, mon chaton," Lafayette mutters, his fingers dancing across Aaron's stomach. "I can help with this."

 _It's a good thing my father is dead,_ Aaron thinks.

2.

"I see how you look at him."

"You fucking kissed him!" Aaron spits.

If it were just about Alexander, they could move past it. But it's about Aaron refusing to hold his hand even when it's just the four of them, or Aaron refusing to use his given name. (It's about Gilbert's wife, who Aaron doesn't know about.)

Gilbert is losing his temper. "At least he kiss like a man!"

"Learn to fucking speak English!" Aaron shouts.

"You learn French! Putain de salope!"

Aaron turns away. "This is done. It was never anything, do you understand?"

It was never anything.

3.

When the battle is over, Lafayette lies bleeding, shot through the leg.

Aaron's regiment shouldn't even be here. He should go, except--

"Gilbert," Aaron says anxiously.

Lafayette laughs hollowly. "You must want something from me."

"You're dying, idiot," Aaron snaps. "And all the doctors are dead. We have to go."

"Je dois rester avec Washington," Lafayette says, his voice infuriatingly reasonable. Then he passes out.

Aaron rides with Lafayette all the way to the Hermitage and Theodosia. He's probably going to either be shot by her husband or shot for deserting.

It's the closest he ever comes to an apology.

4.

They're standing on the docks together, no part of their bodies touching. Aaron won't come near enough. Gilbert is going home.

"Anything could happen over there," Aaron says. "Your country is primed for revolution."

"That's why I have to go. I need to do for France what we did for America." His complex sentence structure has improved.

"Write to me," Aaron says urgently. "Gilbert, _please_."

Gilbert thinks of Aaron's teeth at his throat the night before, of Aaron's fingers bruising his hips, of Aaron damning him to hell while they fucked. In Aaron's mouth, _please_ sounds like a foreign language.

5.

 _I miss you_ , Aaron writes.

_My wife is dead._

He crumples the paper and tries again.

_Theodosia is_

Again.

_I miss you calling me kitten. It was ridiculous. I miss it._

_You'd better be safe over there._

Again.

_Gilbert,_

_Alexander is sorry for convincing Washington not to repay our debts to France. He hasn't said it, but I can tell. For what it's worth, I fought for you._

He fills the rest of the letter with dull details of everyday life. News about his daughter, news about politics.

At the end he writes, _Come home_ and has to start again.

6.

_Mon cher Aaron,_

_They tell me they send the letters I write, but how can I be sure? They also tell me I'm only imprisoned so I won't dream of starting another revolution, but please believe me, I would not make that mistake twice. I am in Austria, did you know? What has been done to my France is inexcusable. Let George and Alexander know their part._

_But enough about them. Last night I dreamed of your mouth._

_I'm sorry, I have no heart for teasing you today._

_J'ai besoin de toi, tu me manques, je veux revenir._

_-Your Gilbert._

7.

"You look incredible," Aaron says into Gilbert's shoulder. He never thought he'd see Gilbert alive again, let alone in America. They're on the docks, a few curious onlookers trying to see what's happening. Aaron can't make himself care.

"Please," Gilbert says. "I look like I've been in prison. You've lowered your standards, my friend."

"I'm not your friend," he says, pulling back to look Gilbert in the face.

Gilbert's smile softens into something different. "I've missed you, mon chaton," he says quietly.

Aaron means to say that you can't stay stuck on your first love forever, but he can't speak.

8.

_J'ai fait quelque chose de terrible._

I've done something terrible.

Gilbert thinks, later, that Aaron must have written the letter almost immediately, because it reaches him before Thomas's.

Gilbert's friendship with Alexander has never fully recovered from the revolution that tore a starving Paris apart, but this--

If Gilbert had been a different person, he thinks he would have seen it coming. But the worst thing he's done in anger is hit someone once or twice, and he's been telling himself for years that Aaron is the same.

Nowhere in the letter does it say _sorry_ , not in any language.

9.

"If you're running from the American law, you shouldn't have chosen France," Gilbert says coldly.

Really Aaron was hoping find someone who would still look him in the eye.

"I'm on vacation," he says, putting on the face he's been walking the streets on New York with.

"I've been angry with him too, but this is murder."

There's gray in Gilbert's hair. Aaron can't stop thinking about how good he looks. Like the hero he is. Like a good person.

Suddenly Aaron is choking on tears. "I didn't mean to do it," he says.

"You'd better come inside," Gilbert says.

10.

Gilbert tells himself he shouldn't be in America. It's home, but so is France. There's no reason for him to keep coming back, except--

Aaron is asleep, his head in Gilbert's lap. For once, he hasn't done anything horrible (recently, that Gilbert is aware of). Neither of them has anything to apologize for.

Gilbert, unfailingly romantic underneath his bravado, traces words in French and English on Aaron's back. He doesn't think Aaron would do the same for him, but he'd do other things. Eventually, everything balances out. At least, he hopes it does.

Tomorrow he'll go back to France. Tomorrow.


End file.
